My First Time On New Home Turf

This past fall, at 26 years old, I traded my life-long New England wool mittens and snowy sleds for flip-flops and surfboards, moving from Boston, MA. to sunny San Diego, CA. This new chapter, in a place I’ve always dreamed of living, was exciting and daunting with so many unknowns: new people, new lingo, better tan lines. Out of Boston, I was grateful to no longer be called a “Mass-Hole”, but would I remember to use PDT when scheduling phone calls? The struggle is real.

Embracing my new “Cali Life” meant diving headfirst into a life of high hopes. I wanted to instantly belong, soak up every perpetually 75-degree day and feel ingrained in a community to call my own. Google suggested I  “meet new people at work”, a tough task given I work remotely just 48 inches from my bed, with a work bestie who sleeps all day, my cat Theodore. Growing up, I relied heavily on my twin sister, Leah, a talkative social butterfly highly skilled at making new friends for the both of us. Turns out, Leah has her own 26-year-old life to live in her own new city elsewhere. So when my girlfriend suggested I join her LGBTQ+ Flag Football League, I thought: This is a perfect opportunity and… I should probably learn the rules.

Sports have been a constant throughout my life. From 5^th grade travel softball to being recruited to play Division III college basketball, being on a team brings me a great sense of belonging and purpose. A built-in community and great way to test my physical and mental limits. Something I’d been missing badly since graduating in 2020. When you’ve played sports your whole life and it all ends with graduation, it’s jarring. This hard stop on a big part of daily life had me asking, what happens now? Who am I off the court? If my life in sports wasn’t going to land me a job or pay off these student loans, what was it all for? (Full disclosure: I’m no Paige Bueckers.) For four long years, I played no sports at all, feeling like a classic washed-up athlete – afraid to engage in pickup games or any organized athletics, fearing I wouldn’t be the player I once was. I started to think that part of “growing up and being an adult” had to mean leaving that part of me behind. The San Diego American Flag Football League, or SDAFFL, thought differently.

I was quickly drafted into a game I learned while playing, just like when I was a kid. Everyone was so organized and outgoing, fostering an instant community that filled my life with games, practices, team outings and social events weekly. I connected with other flag footballers easily, as if we’d been playing together for years. After just a few weeks, some teammates and their friends asked if I was down to join their basketball and kickball teams for the season. I was down. Very down.

Since moving to San Diego and joining the SDAFFL league, I’ve been able to re-connect with the parts of myself I was long missing.  I’m realizing that to be an athlete means so much more than just physical skills and abilities. Whether it’s a pick-up game of 2 on 2 or the Senior Night rivalry game versus NYU, a true athlete embraces every chance to compete at every level. A true athlete works with others to leave everything on the court. A true athlete moves clear across the country, to an unfamiliar city, to gain the confidence, comradery and freeing home turf she’s always dreamed of. I’m back in the game, friends. See you on the field.  

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Lauren Rubinstein is a highly decorated former Division III athlete and a proud member of the San Diego’s American Flag Football League, Firehocks Kickball Club and Swish Kaboobs basketball team. Follow Lauren @rubylaur10 on Instagram.