The First Time I Was Brave

Growing up in West Hollywood with a father who was a director and writer from the golden days of television means that TV is part of my DNA. My twin sister Jamie and I grew up side-by-side in West Hollywood in the 70’s, with a hippie mother who thought taking us to nudist colonies would teach us things we’d never learn in school. Which was absolutely true. For instance, we both learned how traumatizing it is to see naked people playing tennis.

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When it came to actual school, it should come as no surprise that our mother was insistent that we not go the traditional route. Alternative schools in the 70’s were the trend, where learning to play was more important than learning History or Geography. Because of this, we had absolutely no homework, which left us with lots of time to watch TV. We watched TV like it was our job. Who needs to know where Michigan is when you can name every sibling from “Eight is Enough?”

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We loved growing up in LA, but in 1989, when we graduated college, (can you believe we graduated college?) I wanted to work in TV right away. My first job was as an assistant to the head writer of the sitcom “Empty Nest.” I loved it, but when I realized my main job was ordering lunch for nine neurotic writers - making sure their grilled chicken didn’t touch their creamed spinach - I learned two things: I would be a horrible waitress, and there’s got to be more to TV than lunch. Maybe it was time to have a huge adventure.

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At this point my dad had moved to New York to direct the sitcom, “Kate and Allie.” After lots of hemming and hawing, and crying, I decided I would go east and figure out what I wanted to do. A lot of talk shows are filmed in New York. I’d been watching talk shows as far back as when guests could drink and smoke on air. I thought, “Maybe that’s the perfect job–” You get to talk to celebrities, ask them whatever you want, and write their stories.

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Jamie drove me to the airport and we said goodbye, which was like saying goodbye to my arm, but as we hugged each other at the curb, weeping, Jamie whispered in my ear, “Tia Carrere is looking at us.” We immediately went from crying to gawking. I took that as a sign that I was making the right decision. Some people look for signs from above, I look for signs from the “Hot Girl” from “Wayne’s World.”

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Leaving Jamie was the hardest and scariest thing I’ve ever done. We were, and are, each other’s rocks, and never did anything without the other. Which leads me to my first brave moment of this new life: I was 26 and had never flown alone. It was the longest, saddest, scariest 5 hours of my life. But I did it!

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I got to New York and started my job search. I was lucky to have friends who were in the talk show world. One of them, who ended up being my mentor, and had way more faith in me than I had in myself, called me and said, “I just ran into a friend at the gym –he is the Executive Producer of a new talk show on VH1 for Rupaul, and I told him he had to meet you and that you’re an idea maven.” First I had to look up “maven” and then I said, “Why the hell did you tell him that!!??” I was terrified. I took the interview, impressed the EP with my knowledge of “Charlie’s Angels” and “Wonder Woman,” and I got the job.

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The first time I met Ru was at his apartment. I felt so nervous that I wasn’t going to be good at this job, and he could tell. He put me at ease and asked me about myself, so I just opened up to him. I told him that I just moved to New York from LA, that I was without my twin sister for the first time in my life, that I was scared I wouldn’t be good at this job, and I was filled with self doubt. He took a beat, looked at me, and because he’s an empath said one of his famous quotes: “Bravery isn’t about being fearless—it’s about being fabulous in spite of fear.”

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Lessons in bravery from a drag queen made me realize that courage isn’t loud or perfect—it’s honest, vulnerable, and joyful in the face of fear or doubt. It gave me permission to be bold and fabulous, even when I didn’t feel ready.

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Liza Persky has always been obsessed with pop culture—the louder, funnier, and more fabulous, the better. That passion turned into a career working on talk shows where anything could happen (and usually did), from The RuPaul Show to The Rosie O’Donnell Show, Ricki Lake, The Tony Danza Show, Wendy Williams, Watch What Happens Live, and shows you’ve never heard of. She’s made a life out of chasing unforgettable moments, asking the right questions, and celebrating the glorious mess of live TV.

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